Just As I Am

I wish I were a better writer.

As the title says, I'm not losing any of my excess Holiday Weight, but I'm doing pretty good.

How can I say that? Because today, while driving home from work, I've realized how much anger I've been holding within myself.

Angry at the church for making believe things that aren't true....for encouraging me to walk in a way that NOW, I believe is wrong & is against the loving, kind, merciful God that I know.

Angry at my mother for not trying harder to have a relationship with me.  Angry that she passed away without me near.  Angry that I was too selfish to attend her funeral.

Angry at myself for all the hurtful things I've said and done to the people closest to me.  Angry for what I allowed myself to become....an angry wife, mother, friend: person.

I don't want to be that angry person anymore.  I think what I realized is, I don't HAVE to be that person anymore.  There is no reason to be that person anymore.

The church, my mother, even my husband (when he was following the "advice" of our pastor in dealing with his "rebellious, jezebel, a bad woman in the bible" of a wife - Me) all told me, one way or another, that I was no good just as I was.  That I had to change.  I could not please God just as I am - I had to conform.

So I did.

And I became an angry person.

But no more.

God in his mercy has shown, once again, how much he loves me...Just As I Am. And how much he wants me to be Just As I Am.

"Come (to me) all ye that are weary and heavy laden (burdened)...and I will give you rest"  Rest from pretending to be another, rest from trying to hard to please, rest from the worry of not measuring up, rest from constantly fighting the the feeling of rejection.

In showing me what an angry person I've been,...He is giving me rest!

Thumbs Up Lucy!

Letting the Cat Out the Bag

First Question: Who put the cat in the bag to begin with?
Second Question: Why is the cat IN a bag?

O.k - those questions are beside the point of this post.

This holiday season I backslide....big time!

10lbs worth of backsliding to be precise.

From 166 to 176! My face is bloated, all my clothes are tight and it's been rather embarrassing at work (I know they've all noticed).

Yup, I allowed myself anything and everything this holiday season.  And it shows! I was going to put a pic but I'm too embarrassed! 

The good news: It's been 7 days into my new year & from all that over indulging (my husband and I started our "new year" on Jan. 3rd, our first day back to work).  Seven days back on track. We've done pretty darn good (except for the WEEKEND!) Actually the weekend wasn't so bad, definitely not like the holidays,  but still a bit too much snacking.

Why Lucy, Why????

It all started with the movie, Mission Impossible.  This past Friday night my husband and I went on a date.  The only reason I wanted to see the movie was because of Simon Peg...he reminds me of my brother (looks like him).

Actor: Simon Peg

We had a great time, the movie was fun & exciting (I jumped once and closed my eyes another time: I do that when i can't stand the anxiety of what's going to happen!). I give it a thumbs up.

Movies mean popcorn and we just kind've let it go from there.  Again, not like the holidays but we could have kept better control.

OH, one more thing, my husband and I are incorporating intermediate fasting (IT) into our lifestyle.  My last meal is around 6pm and the next is around 9am.  So far we both give it a Thumbs Up.

I'm finding my information from LeanGains. Once upon a time I would have been totally against IT. But now I'm not so sure.  We'll see.

So how are YOU doing?

January 1, 2012

It's that time again - time for new year's resolutions.  And of course, most of them will involve losing weight, exercise, eating better, cutting out this or that, etc.

Are we going to stick to them THIS time, these resolutions? Hmmm....Why or why not? If so, would that mean we are more determined this year than in year's past? Or that we've somehow strengthened our will against gorging on a box of doughnuts, a whole pie, a bag of chips, bowls of mac n' cheese, double cheeseburgers, etc.?

Just wondering.

What is going to make this year any different?

I ask this because I've done it.  I've made the same kind of resolutions for 2012 that I've made for the last, oh, 25 years.  And they are:

Lose Weight
Exercise 
Quite Eating Crap
Don't Overeat

Except this year I've added:
Keep the Carbs Low
Keep Blood Sugar Under 120 (140 MAX!!! - and that only once in while)
Quite Putting Junk in my Mouth just because it's there!

Something I know helps my body in this fight is this:

DON'T GO TO BED ON A FULL TUMMY! (No more late night eating, mindless late night snacking)


For me this works every time.  I ALWAYS wake up better on an empty tummy.  And usually, after a couple DAYS of doing this, the scale will move a 1lb or 2 down.

For the first time EVER my husband has made a New Year's Resolution! In our 20 years of marriage, he has NEVER....NEVER made a New Year's Resolution....EVER! He's always mocked them. Well, it's happened....he's done it...yup - he's made a resolution to lose weight!

Now, he's already gone from 296 to 250.  But with the holiday season n' all - he's probably gained 10lbs, maybe more!  He wants to up his cardio and keep with the weight training.  He's been reading "Marks Daily  Apple" and is very stoked with what he's reading.

Me....ya - not good. I've gained.  Anyhoo-

It's a New Year and a New Time to bring it on! We're both excited and ready for the challenges ahead of turning our diet habits around. We have two more days of holiday eating (We both decided our New Year's Resolution will begin Jan. 3 - we're both off until then).  Then it begins!

No Elliptical

The one I want is $900.00.  Ain't gonna happen.  I guess I'll have to settle on an $18.00, 10lb kettle ball. Sounds good to me.

So, no elliptical, not this year.  BUT....

My husband found the bar he was looking for.  Online = $80.00, Play It Again Sports = $30.00! YES! And he picked up 50 lbs of weights.

I'm gonna try my hand at exercising AGAIN! I found the video (to the right) showing how to do a  proper "deadlift".  Supposed to be the "2nd best exercise you can do" because of the muscles it works (gluts, back, and quads).  The first best exercise (I've read again and again) ...squats.  I hate squats!

Well, daughter and I are off for a little Christmas shopping.

We're Off

The husband and I are headed out the door to pick up (hopefully) an olympic size bar bell (so he can do presses) and we'll be looking at ellipticals (fingers crossed).  The elliptical would be my Christmas present (oh please Santa - I've been good...I've been kind've good...o.k. Santa, you've got me, but I've pulled back on yelling at my kids & I've been working on showing patience to my wonderful husband - that should count for something!)

Oh, just in case you're interested, I have another blog.  You can find it here (i'm slowing making the transition to bringing them together).

Another Blog

"No Brownies for Lunch" is the name of my first blog.  Then I changed it.  About 5 different times!  And I changed url's.  I guess you could say I have a hard time making up my mind - sometimes.  But it's time I come back to my first weight loss/life blog "No Brownies for Lunch".

And I'm here to stay.

My husband continues to do well! Actually better than well.  He still wakes up at 4 am to hit our make shift gym in the basement.  We have no fancy machines, just the basic, and he's making it happen.  I couldn't be more proud of him!  He's been such an inspiration.  Never judging my failures or bad decisions.

Husband's Beginning Weight: 296
Husband's Current Weight: 250

Well, I'm off to take the little one to school.